Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Five: Introducing Wicket W. Warrik, Esquire (Or: An Invitation to an Ewok Barbeque)


01:00:01 – 01:15:00

We’re still in the speederbike sequence as this chapter begins.

Leia is is trading shots with one of the speederbike scouts until she falls off her bike and lands in the undergrowth. Her opponent’s victory is short-lived since he is immolated in a head-on crash with what looks like a downed tree.

Luke finds himself in a similar situation. He, too, falls off his bike, but his opponent circles around to make another run at Luke on the ground. Luke blazes up his green lightsaber, deflects a few blaster shots from the Imperial speederbike scout, then severs the vehicle’s front stabilizer. The bad guy’s speederbike then spirals out of control and then explodes when it crashes into the trunk of a large tree.

With that, the speederbike sequence is effectively over.

We cut to: Han and Chewie, chilling out at some other forest moon of Endor location. Artoo and Threepio are there as well, and Threepio announces that someone is coming, which brings everyone to attention.

Oh, it’s only Luke.

Where’s Leia?” Han wants to know. Of course, Han wants to know this. He’s madly in love with Leia.

Luke explains that they were separated, but he’s concerned that she’s not there as well. They must look for her.

Meanwhile, the unconscious Leia is discovered by Wicket the Ewok, who turns out to be a superstar among the Ewoks. Wicket W. Warrick, as he is now known, named for the little person actor who played him, Warwick Davis.

I am ashamed to admit that I thought Warwick Davis was deceased. He is not. I had him confused with David Rappaport, who committed suicide.

Leia is not scared of Wicket. When she offers him some food, he comes and sits by her side without reservations. Then, Leia scares him by taking off her helmet, which she calls a “hat.”

You’re a jittery little thing, aren’t you?” Leia says to Wicket.

The jittery thing is an evolutionary defensive trait, which saves them moments later when Wicket senses trouble. A blaster shot narrowly misses them as they sit on the log.

Imperial soldiers get the drop on Leia. Wicket saves her by striking one on the leg, and then Leia easily dispatches the other two because she is a badass princess.

Leia and Wicket go off hand-in-hand afterward.

We cut to: The Death Star II. The Emperor sits in his high-backed swivel chair in front of the black-framed round window. Darth Vader emerges from an elevator flanked by two of those red-robed Imperial guards.

I thought I told you to remain on the command ship,” the Emperor says.

Vader tells the Emperor that a small rebel force penetrated the shield and landed on the forest moon of Endor. He adds that his son was a part of this team.

The Emperor seems surprised that he hadn’t detected the presence of Luke Skywalker. He tells Vader to go to the Sanctuary Moon and wait for him. Sanctuary Moon?

He will come to me?”

I have foreseen it. His compassion for you will be his undoing. He will come to you, and then you will bring him before me.”

As you wish.”

Down on the moon, Luke finds Leia’s helmet. When he shows it to him, Han says, “I hope she’s all right.”

Chewie, meanwhile, smells meat and leads the others into a trap. A net ensnares Han, Chewie, Luke, Artoo and Threepio.

Great, Chewie,” Han says, “Always thinking with your stomach.”

Artoo cuts them out of the net with a buzzsaw, but then they are surrounded by a whole troop of Ewoks. Their weapons are confiscated. Then, Threepio is treated like a god. He is a golden idol, I suppose. Maybe the Ewoks worship Ba’al. The Ewoks begin making moaning sounds that remind me of ‘The March of the Winkies’ from The Wizard of Oz.

Han asks if Threepio can understand them, and the protocol droid reminds him that he’s fluent in over 6 million languages. His understanding of the Ewoks’ provincial dialect is that they consider him to be some type of god. Han asks him to use his divine influence to get them out of this mess.

They are taken to the Ewok village. Threepio is exalted on a throne of some type, while the others dangle from spits as food. Han, Luke and Artoo are over barbecue pits. Threepio says they are to be the main course in a banquet in his honor.

Leia shows up. Her hair is loose and hanging around her shoulders. She’s not being treated as food. She’s not even an appetizer, even though she’s looking appetizing, in my opinion. Leia orders Threepio to tell the Ewoks to set their friends free.

Even if they think Threepio is a god, they don’t seem to think they have to follow his commands.

Luke tells Threepio to tell the Ewoks that if they don’t set them free, he’ll use his magic on them.

As the barbecue flames are lit, Threepio begins to levitate on his throne. This is Luke using the force to make Threepio float, but the Ewoks don’t know this.

And this is where this chapter of the 15-Minute Force ends. Our heroes have survived a rousing race through the forest of Endor on speederbikes, and are now faced with the prospect of being food for a tribe of teddy bear creatures. Any race of being who worships Threepio as a god must have something wrong with it.

I’m not a big fan of Ewoks. But, I find that I dislike them less during this viewing than I have in the past. They seem primitive and mostly unthreatening to me, even though they are obviously willing to use our heroes as food during this sequence.

Until next time . . . Remember the Words of Master Yoda: Size Matters Not. The Ewoks Could Be Formidable Allies . . .and May The 15-Minute Force Be With You.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.