10-List: Again, Quotidian Quotes (Firewater’s List of Everyday Wisdom)

my quarantine style

More practical wisdom and/or observations for the list-minded web-surfer.

  • Several of the people I’ve heard use the phrase “it’s time to fish or cut bait” have probably never fished or cut bait. Not even once. It’s only fair, I guess. I’ve never thought outside the box, shifted a paradigm or raised a bar. Not even once.
  • I’m trying to live my life the way Stephen King writes his stories. Overwrite, then trim 10% of the resulting narrative. The trick is to get people to forget the correct 10% that I want edited out.
  • Plans are meant to be changed. Unless they’re carved in stone. I take that back . . . Even if they’re carved in stone. Remember this: Moses smashed his first draft when he saw all those people worshipping the golden calf.
  • Death and taxes may not be the only certain things in this world, but they certainly seem unavoidable. Although, so far, I haven’t died every day. This trend suggests that I may live forever. I know people who haven’t paid taxes, too. Maybe nothing in this world is certain.
  • If I had machine guns mounted on the hood of my car, there would be less drivers on the road today. True, I would be in prison for the remainder of my life, but there’s always a downside.
  • I debated with myself about whether the word “less” or “fewer” was more appropriate in the previous entry. I flipped a mental coin and made a choice. I chose unwisely.
  • People with vanity plates or bumper stickers should expect to be tailgated on occasion.
  • Having separate climate controls for the driver and front seat passenger was a work of genius. I’m willing to bet that whoever invented it was married.
  • I refuse to say “Hey, Siri.” I also think Alexa should mind her own damned business.
  • Pizza’s natural shape is the triangle. A pizza doesn’t want to be a square, rectangle, pocket or roll. It doesn’t even want to remain a circle. Triangle. And only a savage will start eating it in any direction other than apex-to-base, point-to-crust.

That’s all the wisdom I can impart today. Cheers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.