You’re not going to believe this.
Not only is this my 800th post here, but somewhere in the body of this article, I will have self-published my one-millionth word on WordPress. I was fifty-one or fifty-eight words away from the million before I began typing. Here is fifty-one, if that was it. Here is fifty-eight, if titles count. Here, if they don’t.
Whatever the case, somewhere in that previous paragraph, I typed my one-millionth word. One million! Seesh. One million seconds is like 12 days or something. If I could type one word per second, it would take that many days to type that many words. If I didn’t sleep or take bathroom breaks.
Yeah, that sounds about right. I think I started in December 2015. That was at least 12 days ago.
That’s a lot of words. You know, after I discovered the “Stats” portion of our blogging site, my own mathematical pathology kicked into overdrive. Using rudimentary math, I knew that it was possible I’d be at one million words by the time I reached Post #800. It was at the back of my mind even as I was getting within sight of my eight-hundredth post. During the final wordcount tally, I was always conscious that I was close to hitting both milestones simultaneously. Then, in the final few posts, I engineered things so that I wouldn’t hit the one-million-word mark either too soon or too late.
In other words, I cheated, so that the coincidental achievements would appear to be divinely preordained somehow. I am a cheat and a liar. You have been warned.
Except I’m not lying about the one million words.
ONE MILLION WORDS!!!!!
The first million words are practice.
It doesn’t matter who said it first, which is great since there is no clear consensus about proper attribution for the quote. The fact is, these words seem true on the surface. The proper take-away—I think—is that I just finished practicing how to write a blog, and that now I should be turning out posts that are at least at the apprentice level. That’s enough of an accomplishment for me.
While I’m trying to keep positive thoughts here, I can’t help but think (it’s that math thing again) that the average length of a novel is between 50,000 and 70,000 words. One million words is enough for sixteen-and-a-half novels, on average. Damn.
Novels written during that same time frame by me? Zero.
Oh, well. Maybe it’s a time management thing. But, one million words is still something, isn’t it? Huh? Huh?