10-List: The Revenge of Quotidian Quotes (Firewater’s Everyday Wisdom)

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I sit on top of a mountain and my beard is long and white, so I must be a wise man. This string of ten pearls is my gift to you. Feel free to quote me.

As far as I can tell, the word “organic” —at least, as it applies to bananas— means “capable of going rotten while still green.”

Does scratching one’s head improve the brain’s cognitive abilities? Or is an itchy scalp a side effect of not being able to answer questions correctly? Are people with a dandruff problem just naturally smarter than the rest of us? It’s a head-scratcher.

René Descartes suggested, way back in the 17th century, that to doubt your existence means that a thinking entity exists; therefore, you exist. In Latin, this was summarized as Cogito, ergo sum, which is usually translated as “I think; therefore, I am.” Critics of this line of reasoning have suggested that the thinking entity that exists doesn’t have to be the “I” of the self. You may not be the one doing the thinking; therefore, maybe you don’t exist. Think about that long enough and you’ll become a philosopher.

There’s no such thing as a “soft” taco. That’s just a lazy burrito.

Why is it that—even when I use the exact same ingredients—a salad prepared by someone else in a restaurant always tastes better than one I make myself?

If more people walked everywhere, there’d be less litter on our roads. Less air pollution, too, it follows. Fewer traffic fatalities. All positive things. But, we’d always be late for work, and getting the kids off to school would be an even bigger hassle.

If you live long enough, someone will betray you. If you haven’t felt betrayed by anyone yet, just know that it’s coming and beware. Sorry. I was in a bad place when I wrote this one.

Frustration is the difference between your expectations and reality. Always expect things to go awry and the need for last-minute changes in your plans, and you will never feel frustrated.

I can’t give proper attribution for the quote “Ignorance is Bliss.” For some reason, this makes me happy.

Skepticism is a healthy and rational way to approach life, I’ve found. Yet, the word “skeptic” seems to have negative connotations. I was looking up the synonyms for “skeptic” for that very reason. The synonyms were cynic, atheist, scoffer, and doubter, which seemed no less negative. It shed some light on the anti-science outlook of most stupid people.


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