//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch. 5: Extreme Late-Term Abortion (Or: Saavik is All Vulcan)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 The 15-Minute Federation docked at Starbase 1234, and we were finally able to take some well-deserved shore leave. The base is governed by the benevolent duo known as Dave & Buster, known throughout the galaxy for their old-school video games and free-flowing beer taps. Captain James C. Firewater also had a secret […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch. 4: Scotty Makes a Plumbing Metaphor (Or: Vulcan Hand Sex)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Dr. Macklemore went to Captain James C. Firewater’s ready room, which was a small office adjacent to the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation. Pleased to find the captain alone, Doc pitched his voice real low and whispery so that the rest of the bridge crew wouldn’t overhear their private conversation. We all […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch. 3: Spock’s Coffin is as Empty as Al Capone’s Vault (Or: Snow on Cacti is Major Evidence of Climate Change)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 On our way to Deep Space 10, an old Sears location that is currently a furniture liquidator, we detoured in the shuttlecraft Copernicus Seven to pick up Galactic High Commissioner Firewater at his home planet. Yes, the high commissioner was Captain Firewater’s elderly father. The captain informed the high commissioner that our […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch 2: The Enterprise is Getting Mothballed (Or: Let’s Go to the Instant Replay)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 Captain James Claudius Firewater took the entire bridge crew with him on an away mission to Alpha Omicron Pi, where the all-female inhabitants of that tiny planet were raising revenue with something they called a CAR WASH. The plan was to get the 15-Minute Federation‘s shuttlecraft, the Copernicus Seven, cleaned and then […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch 1: Lt. Saavik is now Dick Sargent (Or: Bones Picked Up a Hitchhiker)

00:00:00 – 00:15:00 For days after the bridge crew of the 15-Minute Federation watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Commander Spork annoyed everyone within earshot, saying things like “Ship. . .out of. . .danger?” and “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few . . . or the one.” And […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 7: The Battle of the Mutara Nebula (Or: A Whole New World)

01:30:01 – The End As it turns out, early in his career as the captain of the 15-Minute Federation, James C. Firewater had stranded his nemesis Genghis Noonan Sheehan—the genetically-engineered Irish superman—on the planet O’Shaughnessy’s Corner Pub with his crew of drunken dart-throwers. The Archon of the planet—Colm O’Shaughnessy himself—ended up losing his liquor license […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 6: Changing the Conditions of the Test (Or: Joachim Possessed the True Superior Intellect)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 The 15-Minute Federation sent a landing party to the only M-class planet in the Big Box System, a world known as Walmartus IV. The landing party consisted of Captain James C. Firewater, Commander Spork, and Lt. O’Hara. Captain Firewater planned to negotiate a trade agreement for the 100-count box of dilithium crystals. […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 5: KHAAAAAANNN!! (Or: Chekov as the Manchurian Candidate)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 We could tell it was going to be a whimsical duty shift on the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation because comical oboe music was playing over the ceiling speakers and our alien guest stars were all speaking in exaggerated Irish brogues. On the orders of Captain James C. Firewater, Commander Spork had […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 4: Taken Down by a Prefix Code (Or: Kirk Continues to Fail Upwards)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Lt. DiAngelo, the chief geologist on board the 15-Minute Federation (who’s never been seen by anyone before this fateful day), went on his first away mission with our Holy Trinity: Captain Firewater, Commander Spork and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore. He was killed just moments after the landing party materialized on the planet Pepp-Boyz […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 3: Kirk Deals with an Angry Ex (Or: The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Crew)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Nurse Transept has lodged a formal complaint because, other than the occasional pretty yeoman who briefly joins the crew, she is the only female on board the 15-Minute Federation. She says that this has led to a hostile work environment, and that she is forced to do double-duty as the voice of […]

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