//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 8: . . . And Then Decker Does Something (Or: Wait. What? And, Everyone Lived Happily Ever After)

01:45:01 – The End We beamed our landing party down to Homeus Depotus VI on a routine surveying mission. The landing party consisted of the following crewmembers: Captain James “Claudius” Firewater; Commander Spork; Dr. Dylan “Ribcage” Macklemore; a pretty female yeoman the captain recruited from Risa; and, two red-shirted dayworkers the landing party picked up […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 7: Spock Completes a Side Mission (Or: V’ger Has Daddy Issues)

01:30:01 – 01:45:00 A new ensign joined us as navigator here on the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation. He has shaggy hair and goes by the name Shecky Pavlov. He looks a lot like Captain Firewater’s pet sheepdog. He also salivates every time he hears a bell ring. To be fair, he salivates when he […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 6: Why Do V’Ger Probes Take Showers? (Or: Reducing Carbon-Based Units to Data Patterns)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 Commander Spork just suggested that we slingshot around the McDonald’s on the corner and go back in time just long enough to take advantage of the breakfast menu. Lt. Hulu, who serves as both our helmsman and main source for pirated episodes of Castle Rock, reminds Spork that some of the breakfast […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 5: An Over-Abundance of Reaction Shots is an Unwarranted Gamble (Or: We Get Probed by Aliens!)

  01:00:01 – 01:15:00 Lionel Smith was made Chief Engineer on our crew because Captain James “Claudius” Firewater insists that “Smith” is a proper Scottish name, and we just had to have a Scot as Chief Engineer because that was the template created by Montgomery Scott. Never mind the fact that Lionel insists that 95.6% […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 4: Hey, Look Who’s Back, Y’all! (Oh, Spoilers . . .Spock Joins the Party and He’s a Pooper)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Captain James “Claudius” Firewater briefly called a red alert earlier today when Communications Officer Lt. O’Hara (who got the job because his name most closely resembled Uhura’s) spilled his pumpkin spice latte on the communications station board. There were a few sparks and O’Hara dropped the stainless steel honey spoon he keeps […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 3: The Bald Lady and the Wormhole (Or: Belay That Phaser Order! Arm Photon Torpedoes!)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Chapter 3 of The Motion Picture Edition of the 15-Minute Federation begins with the Epsilon IX listening post being assimilated by the Borg . . . Wait. Wrong era. The listening post is being wiped out of existence by the Seeing Eye cloud, which has a diameter roughly the size of our […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 2: Decker Gets Demoted (Or: Dr. McCoy Was Right About Transporters All Along)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 As we begin our next chapter of The Motion Picture Edition of the 15-Minute Federation, we join Admiral James T. Kirk in his gray-and-white uniform. He’s looking fit and trim, with the pointy sideburns, as he steps out of an air tram into Starfleet HQ. He runs into Lt. Commander Sonak, a […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 1 : Seeing Eye Clouds and Failed Kolinahr Tests (Or: Easing Back Into Federation Space)

00:00:00 – 00:15:00 Hear the sound of the bosun’s pipes as you exit the turbolift and step onto the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation. We welcome you to a new project under the 15-Minute proprietary banner. This one will encompass all of the Star Trek movies, from those featuring the cast of the original series, […]

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