\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch. 5: Extreme Late-Term Abortion (Or: Saavik is All Vulcan)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 The 15-Minute Federation docked at Starbase 1234, and we were finally able to take some well-deserved shore leave. The base is governed by the benevolent duo known as Dave & Buster, known throughout the galaxy for their old-school video games and free-flowing beer taps. Captain James C. Firewater also had a secret […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 5: KHAAAAAANNN!! (Or: Chekov as the Manchurian Candidate)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 We could tell it was going to be a whimsical duty shift on the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation because comical oboe music was playing over the ceiling speakers and our alien guest stars were all speaking in exaggerated Irish brogues. On the orders of Captain James C. Firewater, Commander Spork had […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 4: Taken Down by a Prefix Code (Or: Kirk Continues to Fail Upwards)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Lt. DiAngelo, the chief geologist on board the 15-Minute Federation (who’s never been seen by anyone before this fateful day), went on his first away mission with our Holy Trinity: Captain Firewater, Commander Spork and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore. He was killed just moments after the landing party materialized on the planet Pepp-Boyz […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 3: Kirk Deals with an Angry Ex (Or: The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Crew)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Nurse Transept has lodged a formal complaint because, other than the occasional pretty yeoman who briefly joins the crew, she is the only female on board the 15-Minute Federation. She says that this has led to a hostile work environment, and that she is forced to do double-duty as the voice of […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 2: Chekov’s Terrarium (Or: Lt. Saavik’s Deviated Septum)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 During the mission to Homeus Depotus VI, Commander Spork pricked his finger on a thorn of a rose bush in the planet’s garden center. It was one of those flowers that proliferate in the Trek Universe, and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore says the thorn prick will either kill Spork or else take over […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 6: Why Do V’Ger Probes Take Showers? (Or: Reducing Carbon-Based Units to Data Patterns)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 Commander Spork just suggested that we slingshot around the McDonald’s on the corner and go back in time just long enough to take advantage of the breakfast menu. Lt. Hulu, who serves as both our helmsman and main source for pirated episodes of Castle Rock, reminds Spork that some of the breakfast […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 5: An Over-Abundance of Reaction Shots is an Unwarranted Gamble (Or: We Get Probed by Aliens!)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 Lionel Smith was made Chief Engineer on our crew because Captain James “Claudius” Firewater insists that “Smith” is a proper Scottish name, and we just had to have a Scot as Chief Engineer because that was the template created by Montgomery Scott. Never mind the fact that Lionel insists that 95.6% […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 4: Hey, Look Who’s Back, Y’all! (Oh, Spoilers . . .Spock Joins the Party and He’s a Pooper)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Captain James “Claudius” Firewater briefly called a red alert earlier today when Communications Officer Lt. O’Hara (who got the job because his name most closely resembled Uhura’s) spilled his pumpkin spice latte on the communications station board. There were a few sparks and O’Hara dropped the stainless steel honey spoon he keeps […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 3: The Bald Lady and the Wormhole (Or: Belay That Phaser Order! Arm Photon Torpedoes!)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Chapter 3 of The Motion Picture Edition of the 15-Minute Federation begins with the Epsilon IX listening post being assimilated by the Borg . . . Wait. Wrong era. The listening post is being wiped out of existence by the Seeing Eye cloud, which has a diameter roughly the size of our […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 2: Decker Gets Demoted (Or: Dr. McCoy Was Right About Transporters All Along)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 As we begin our next chapter of The Motion Picture Edition of the 15-Minute Federation, we join Admiral James T. Kirk in his gray-and-white uniform. He’s looking fit and trim, with the pointy sideburns, as he steps out of an air tram into Starfleet HQ. He runs into Lt. Commander Sonak, a […]

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