//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch. 4: Scotty Makes a Plumbing Metaphor (Or: Vulcan Hand Sex)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Dr. Macklemore went to Captain James C. Firewater’s ready room, which was a small office adjacent to the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation. Pleased to find the captain alone, Doc pitched his voice real low and whispery so that the rest of the bridge crew wouldn’t overhear their private conversation. We all […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 6: Changing the Conditions of the Test (Or: Joachim Possessed the True Superior Intellect)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 The 15-Minute Federation sent a landing party to the only M-class planet in the Big Box System, a world known as Walmartus IV. The landing party consisted of Captain James C. Firewater, Commander Spork, and Lt. O’Hara. Captain Firewater planned to negotiate a trade agreement for the 100-count box of dilithium crystals. […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 5: KHAAAAAANNN!! (Or: Chekov as the Manchurian Candidate)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 We could tell it was going to be a whimsical duty shift on the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation because comical oboe music was playing over the ceiling speakers and our alien guest stars were all speaking in exaggerated Irish brogues. On the orders of Captain James C. Firewater, Commander Spork had […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 4: Taken Down by a Prefix Code (Or: Kirk Continues to Fail Upwards)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Lt. DiAngelo, the chief geologist on board the 15-Minute Federation (who’s never been seen by anyone before this fateful day), went on his first away mission with our Holy Trinity: Captain Firewater, Commander Spork and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore. He was killed just moments after the landing party materialized on the planet Pepp-Boyz […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 3: Kirk Deals with an Angry Ex (Or: The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Crew)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Nurse Transept has lodged a formal complaint because, other than the occasional pretty yeoman who briefly joins the crew, she is the only female on board the 15-Minute Federation. She says that this has led to a hostile work environment, and that she is forced to do double-duty as the voice of […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 2: Chekov’s Terrarium (Or: Lt. Saavik’s Deviated Septum)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 During the mission to Homeus Depotus VI, Commander Spork pricked his finger on a thorn of a rose bush in the planet’s garden center. It was one of those flowers that proliferate in the Trek Universe, and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore says the thorn prick will either kill Spork or else take over […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 8: . . . And Then Decker Does Something (Or: Wait. What? And, Everyone Lived Happily Ever After)

01:45:01 – The End We beamed our landing party down to Homeus Depotus VI on a routine surveying mission. The landing party consisted of the following crewmembers: Captain James “Claudius” Firewater; Commander Spork; Dr. Dylan “Ribcage” Macklemore; a pretty female yeoman the captain recruited from Risa; and, two red-shirted dayworkers the landing party picked up […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 7: Spock Completes a Side Mission (Or: V’ger Has Daddy Issues)

01:30:01 – 01:45:00 A new ensign joined us as navigator here on the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation. He has shaggy hair and goes by the name Shecky Pavlov. He looks a lot like Captain Firewater’s pet sheepdog. He also salivates every time he hears a bell ring. To be fair, he salivates when he […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 6: Why Do V’Ger Probes Take Showers? (Or: Reducing Carbon-Based Units to Data Patterns)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 Commander Spork just suggested that we slingshot around the McDonald’s on the corner and go back in time just long enough to take advantage of the breakfast menu. Lt. Hulu, who serves as both our helmsman and main source for pirated episodes of Castle Rock, reminds Spork that some of the breakfast […]

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//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 5: An Over-Abundance of Reaction Shots is an Unwarranted Gamble (Or: We Get Probed by Aliens!)

  01:00:01 – 01:15:00 Lionel Smith was made Chief Engineer on our crew because Captain James “Claudius” Firewater insists that “Smith” is a proper Scottish name, and we just had to have a Scot as Chief Engineer because that was the template created by Montgomery Scott. Never mind the fact that Lionel insists that 95.6% […]

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